Turning Grief into Gratitude

It’s been 3 months now since the sudden death of my beloved uncle. The sadness and grief is beginning to transform into greater love and gratitude. When I feel a wave of grief arising, I feel it, allow it, and I reframe it as all the love I want to give him, but cannot. All of that love gathers in the corners of my eyes, the lump in my throat, and in the hollow part of my chest.  

For me, the grief is now just love with no place to go. So I’m acknowledging it and allowing it to be… and as I release the inner narratives and connect only with the feeling, the grief begins to release and transforms into love and gratitude.

This experience is also giving me precious opportunity to reflect on some key life themes.

For those of you who know me, I’m a story teller. I love sharing the insights I’ve gained by meeting my challenges head on. They have rarely been easy. Nonetheless, there has always been a lesson to learn and grow from.

Over the past few years since gaining certification in workplace mindfulness facilitation, my own mindfulness and meditation practice has deepened. This doesn’t mean I spend more time meditating, but it does mean that I’m actively approaching life in a more mindful way.  The effects of this are soothing and calming.  And the thing that changes the most is not anything outside or around me, but me, myself – from the inside. What I carry within me is what is offered to the circumstances and situations I’m greeted with.

Here’s a story to illustrate:

Imagine you are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you, making you spill your coffee everywhere. Why did you spill the coffee? You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup. Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea. 

The point is whatever is inside the cup, is what will spill out. 

Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you up (which will happen), whatever is inside you will come out. 

It’s easy to fake it, until you get rattled. 

So, we have to ask ourselves: “what’s in my cup?” 

When life gets tough, what spills out? Joy, gratefulness, peace, grace and humility? Or does anger, bitterness, resentment, harsh words and reactions come out? You choose! 

No matter what’s going on, there is always, always, always something to be grateful for. 

Today, let’s work towards filling our cups with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, words of affirmation, kindness, gentleness, patience and love for others… which starts with love for ourselves. 

From my heart to yours,