You can start by asking yourself better questions. Questions that pull you away from all the comforting distractions in your life, so you can refocus your thoughts on what really matters most.
Here’s a selection of provocative questions t2o get you started:
- In one sentence: who are you?
- In one word: what do you live for?
- What will you never give up on?
- What do you always try to avoid?
- What’s something you take for granted each day?
- What do you need most right now?
- What would you do differently if you knew you would not be judged?
- Who do you need to forgive right now?
- Happiness is not…?
- Happiness is…?
- What legacy do you want to leave for the people you love?
- Life is too short to tolerate…?
- What fear/s have you already overcome?
- What do you want to remember forever?
- What was the happiest day of your life?
- What do you always look forward to?
- What’s one thing you’d like to be able to say (and mean) before you die?
A Slightly Deeper Dive into Self-Questioning
As I’ve alluded to, the questions you ask yourself on a regular basis can determine the life your lead and the type of person you become. Self-questioning, when leveraged effectively and consistently, gradually frees your mind to focus on what matters most. This process is something I have successfully guided hundreds of my coaching clients and workshop students through over the past two decades, to support them in better handling the various debilitating sources of stress and anxiety that were holding them back. If you’d like to better cope with the stress in your own life this year, I’ll give you a few bonus questions to consider. Unlike the questions above, which focus on the big picture of what’s important to you, the following will support you when you’re derailed by the frustrations of life’s smaller everyday encounters.
The key to using these questions is embracing the fact that most of the frustrations and stresses in daily life could be avoided if you would simply take the time to ask:
‘What am I making this mean?’ and ‘What else could this mean?’
So next time a random life situation starts to get the better of you, pause, take a deep breath, and then ask yourself:
- What is the story I’m telling myself about this situation?
- Can I be absolutely certain this story is true?
- How do I feel and behave when I tell myself the story?
- If I stopped telling myself this story, what else might I see, hear, or experience?
Give yourself the time and space to think it through carefully. Consider it more carefully and consciously, and see how doing so frees your mind to respond more peacefully and adaptively in the year ahead.
Now it’s your turn…
Above all else, what you also need to remember is that it’s not the answers you get from others, but the questions you ask yourself that will help you grow stronger. So I challenge you to re-read and reference all the questions above throughout this year. Please keep in mind there is no right or wrong answers, because asking (and answering) the ‘right’ questions of yourself, regularly, is the answer. Please, ask away… And please share your thoughts with me in the comments section below. If you’re up for it, I’d love to read your response to the very first question: In one sentence, who are you? Also, my inaugural Festival of ME Retreat is taking place on 16-18 March, 2018 in Northern NSW, and I’d love to see you there. Let’s make 2018 YOUR year – a year worth savouring and celebrating. Places are limited. I hope to see you there!
A personal message from Josie:
How has your 2018 commenced?
I’ve been thinking…ALOT…about who I want to be, and what I want to do this year. This year is so very different for me: both my children have now completed schooling, they are taking bold steps forward into independent futures, I’m feeling a strong need to ‘change things up’ in my own life – I want to write! This calling to write has been growing stronger and stronger over the last few years, and I’ve ignored it. I cannot ignore it any longer. This year there will be changes.
I will create forums to share and engage with you more deeply and intimately. I will open my first membership group very soon where I’ll connect with members every day/week and share some of my innermost thoughts and ideas for shaping and living a life you deeply love and enjoy. I’ll also teach you how to transform adversity into stepping stones and resilience (my life story)! What this space!! I will also host my first retreat in northern NSW on 16-18 March, to provide a deeper dive to truly obliterate beliefs and habits that no longer serve you, to show you how to live the life you deserve! Numbers will be limited to ensure I have ample 1-1 time to dedicate to each person who joins me. Express your interest here. I still LOVE coaching so I’ll continue to coach and provide workplace workshops on my favourite topics of resilience, navigating change, and embracing ‘possibility’ mindset.
Oh and did I say I’ll write ‘my’ book this year?! Watch out for that one… I pray your year will be filled with joy, grace and countless moments to savour and treasure. Pay attention to the little things… one day they will be the big things that mattered. You matter to me, so take good care of YOU. I’ll be back in Brisvegas next month and look forward to championing a year of positive transformation and fulfilment for all.
Want to see how you stack on the Resilience Scale? Sign up and take my complimentary self assessment here.