What do I know about how to change your life? Where shall I begin?!
From personal experience, decades of coaching clients around the globe, and drawing from my studies in psychology, neuroscience, epigenetics and mindfulness, I’ve learned that the most important resource we must learn to direct and manage is the brain.
The brain can be a wonderful resource. It can also operate as a debilitating opponent in the pursuit of our long term plans and goals. The brain can draw from automatic patterns to avoid the discomfort of leaving the familiar and comfortable and can stop many great changes in our lives.
I’ve learned to observe and manage these rationalisations very carefully in order to make the changes I’ve made in my life: a healthier lifestyle and diet, regular exercise, new career trajectory, meditation and rest, boundary setting, reading daily, managing my money better, quitting overworking, and so on.
If I hadn’t learned about these automatic patterns and how to counter them, I would never have sustained these changes. In fact, I failed many times especially prior to 1991 (when I started changing my life in earnest after my first cancer diagnosis) because these unconscious patterns had complete power over me.
I’d like to share my biggest insights to support to you to make the changes you’d like for your life too.
- Take some time out of your busy life to disconnect from your world
Shut your phone off. Turn the TV off. Power down your computer. Sit your body down for a few minutes and close your eyes.
- Take some long, slow, deep breaths and centre yourself
When you centre your attention into the present moment you have more energy to create with. When your mind wanders to the predictable future or the familiar past, know that’s perfectly normal. Just become aware of it and keep working on settling yourself back down into the present moment. When you’re in the present moment you’re the most empowered and creative.
- Ask yourself these questions:
- Can I be defined by a vision of the future instead of the memories of the past?
- What do I want in my life?
And importantly, take the time to answer the questions. As you begin to reflect and think about the answers to the questions, you’re changing your brain. When you make your brain fire in new sequences and new patterns and new combinations, that’s the beginning steps of changing your brain and changing your life.
- Decide on the emotions you’ll feel when you begin to create the future you desire
Teach your body emotionally what that future is going to feel like. And don’t get up until you begin to feel those emotions. Rehearse in your mind who you’re going to be when you open your eyes, the things you’ll have to do, the choices you’ll have to make, the steps you’ll have to take. Review them over and over again. I did this consistently after my cranial surgery in 2010 when I was advised I would not walk or talk correctly again. Through the power of my mind, and rehearsed vivid imagining and repetition, I did it!
- Let go of the biology or your past
You can’t passage to the future while you’re holding onto the biology of your past. You must decide what thoughts you can and want to bring to your future. Write them down. Cull thoughts like: I can’t; It’s too hard; I’ll never change; I’ll start tomorrow; What’s wrong with me; and It’s someone else’s fault. Decide on what behaviours or actions or unconscious habits you’ll have to change. How do you talk? Do you complain? Do you blame? Do you make excuses? Do you feel sorry for yourself. Just become so conscious of those behaviours that you’ll never go unconscious again. And lastly,
- Decide what emotions no longer belong in your future
That means if you want to be wealthy you can’t take lack; if you want to be healthy, you can’t take insecurity or fear. You must begin to condition your body to a new narrative.
If you intentionally practice these steps every day, you will sharpen your personality which creates your personal reality. Your personality is made up of how you think, how you act, and how you feel. Change any one of those things and you change your life!
I wish you every joy and fulfilment life has to offer. And if I can support you on your journey, simply reach out to me as I’m here to serve you.