The Subtle Art of GIVING A F*CK!

Have you wondered why at the end of a busy day you sit alone and consider the question:

Where is everybody?
Is there anyone in my life that cares about me?
Why do I feel so alone?

Well, you’re not alone. In my role as coach, I hear this thought over and over every single week.

In this interconnected, ‘always on’ 24/7 world, we are connected in ways we could never have imagined… yet, we are so desperately disconnected in the ways that really matter.

We are wired for connection. We need regular genuine heart-to-heart connection with other humans for our sense of survival and ultimately to thrive in life.

I believe part of the problem is we’re becoming more selfish, self-absorbed individuals, too caught up in our own ‘busy-ness’ to ‘give a f*ck’ about others or their circumstances – it’s not your life, so why care or get involved?

This attitude deeply saddens me and I believe, contributes to a very disconnected and unhappy world.

We need to remember that we are a part of a collective called humanity. And it’s our humanity that matters. It’s not the colour of our skin, the place we were born, the language we speak or any other feature that differentiates us.

If we want to improve our own lives and contribute to a greater good, we need to start giving a f*ck about one another.

Just this week, I found moments to connect randomly with strangers.

First, I was visiting a dear friend in hospital in palliative care who is about to lose her battle with cancer. As I left her room to enter the ward corridor, a little old man all wired up to his medical apparatus was very slowly and carefully shuffling by. I smiled and asked, “Can I see your license to drive that thing please?”

He looked up at me and began to roar with laughter. We stood there together in that corridor for about a minute, laughing with tears in our eyes. In that moment, we connected unconditionally, heart-to-heart. As I turned to leave he said, “I haven’t laughed like that for years. Thank you.” I felt good knowing I brightened his day in some way.

This morning I went to my local fresh food markets and there was a little boy with his Mum at the blueberry stall. I bought 3 punnets. I noticed the boy was playing on his mobile device, so I asked, “Are you winning?” He looked up and said, “Yep!” And while I held his gaze I asked if he ate blueberries. He replied “Only on Fridays.” I laughed and said, “You’re funny. I only eat them on Saturday and do you know why I’m so happy today?” He shook his head. I answered, “Because today is Saturday and I’m going to eat all of these yummy blueberries!” He smiles and turned to his mother and asked, “Mum, can I eat blueberries on Saturday?” We all had a laugh and we share some blueberries together before I headed off.

As I left the markets, there were two people smoking in a corner which I needed to walk through to get home. As I approached, with a smile on my face I asked, “Is this the naughty corner?” And the two men responded, “You bet.” We shared a laugh for one moment, and as I walked away I overheard them talking about how nice it was to have someone notice them and greet them.

Again, these small, seemingly inconsequential interactions mattered – to them and to me. We all got to share in the delight of having someone ‘give a f*ck’ about them in a random moment.

I’m wondering what could happen for your own life if you were to consciously ‘give a f*ck’ in some random moments of your day, your week? I’d love to hear your stories.

Be sure you approach these moments with an open heart and genuine desire to simply touch another person’s life with care and love.

May you be a light in the lives of those you meet, and may you always bask in the light of your good heart and love.

Shine on!