Building Your Inner Resilience

“In April, after seeing you and after nearly a full year of mourning, I took the first step in moving forward with my life. I officially started the home-based business I mapped out over the past decade and always dreamed I’d build. I know my husband is watching over me, and I know he’d be proud of me, because my little business that I’d dreamed of and discussed with him has been profitable since week one, and it’s continuing to grow.”

These are lines straight out of an email I received recently from Amanda, an executive coaching client of mine (I’m sharing this with her permission). Her story is both inspiring and a wonderful reminder of the importance of inner resilience. Just like Amanda, with enough emotional strength, we can move our lives forward in incredible ways, despite the adversities we face.

And despite what you may think, you don’t have to be born emotionally strong either. You can develop this vital trait of resilience with practice… just ask me! I’ve had plenty of practice!

Life is not easy, which is why you have to do hard things to be happy in life – the things no one else is avoiding doing; the things that frighten you; the things others can’t do for you; the things that make you question how much longer you can hold on or push forward.

These are the things that define you. These are the things that make the difference between existing and embracing life and thriving – between knowing the path and walking the path – between a life of defeat and a life filled with contentment and success.

Adversity is inevitable, and it’s much like walking into a turbulent storm. As you fight to push through it, you not only gain strength, but it washes away from you all but the essential parts of you that cannot be broken.

Once you come out of the storm you see yourself as you really are in raw form, still holding the passions and values that move you. These are the desires that matter – the inner love and vows that define you. It is this kind of passion that drives you forward, especially when the going gets tough. It is this kind of love that strengthens your mind, body and spirit.  

Years ago, when I was recovering from surgery and extremely focused on rebuilding my physical strength and capabilities, I gradually learned that you can’t be truly committed to any goal if you have a weak mind.  To combat this, I wrote two simple questions on two separate post-it notes and placed one on my bathroom mirror and the other inside my walk-in-robe:

– How many walks have you missed because your mind, not your body, told you that you were too tired?

– How many walks have you skipped because your mind, not your body, said, “Two walks this week is enough.  Don’t worry about the rest?”

To this day, the answer to both questions is probably ‘hundreds’ for most people, including myself.  Weakness of the mind is a real dream killer, and the only way to fix this weakness in daily committed practice.

Far too often we think that emotional strength is all about how we respond to extreme circumstances like loss, failure or breakdown. 

There’s no doubt that extreme circumstances test our courage, determination and emotional strength, but what about common daily circumstances. 

Just like every muscle in the body, the mind needs to be exercised to gain strength.  It needs to be worked consistently to grow and develop over time.  If you haven’t pushed yourself in hundreds of little ways over time, of course you’ll crumble on the one day that things get really challenging.

• Choose to take that walk when it would be easier to stay in bed.
• Choose to get to the gym when it would be easier to vege out.  
• Choose to do the tenth rep when it would be easier to quit at nine.
• Choose to create something special when it would be easier to consume something less healthy.
• Choose to ask that question when it would be easier to stay silent.  Prove to yourself, in a hundred little ways, that you have the guts to get on the floor and dance with life.

Emotional strength is built through lots of little victories.  It’s the individual choices that we make on a daily basis that builds our ‘emotional strength’ muscles.  We all want this kind of strength, but we can’t think our way to it.  We have to consistently and intentionally do something about it.  It’s our daily actions that improve our emotional and mental fortitude.

The bottom line is that when things get difficult for most people, they find something easier to do. When things get difficult for emotionally strong people, they find a way to advance. 

And of course, if you’re struggling with any of this, know that you are not alone. Many of us are right there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly, and get our lives back on track.

This is precisely why I’ve put together a very special: ‘I Care. You Matter’ gift pack – just in time for Xmas too. 

I know that it’s hard to believe but Christmas is not too far away!   

It is a great way to show someone that they do matter in your life so why not give them a little inspiration around Christmas time and remind them how much they mean to you.

Listen to what the I Care. You Matter gift pack is all about, and what’s included below.

And for a limited time, you can also take advantage of my online webinar training program
which I developed with Dr Jeffrey M Schwartz.
( based on his best selling book: You Are Not Your Brain ) 

This program will lead you step by step through a revolutionary brain-based approach to transform your thinking, end unhealthy habits and take charge of your life. Find out more here.

You don’t need to spend $18,000 on annual coaching (a realistic average) or even more on live seminars to get back to being… effective; confident; energetic; successful; connected; clear-headed; courageous; attractive; comfortable in your skin; free from addictions and habits that hold you back; free from toxic relationships; propelled by a sense of purpose; secure in your zone of inner, creative genius; driven by your true potential to the point of realising your dreams; awakened to the positive changes you’re making in your life and the lives around you on a major scale; or slim, trim, and uninterested in beef burgers.

And if you have other ideas or strategies for building inner resilience, I’d love to hear from you. Share your ideas below and let’s together share the love and build more resilient communities. 

Here’s to the continued improvement of your own inner resilience. Bring it on!

With love, 

 

 

 

 

P.S. 

I know that it’s hard to believe but Christmas is not too far away!  Below is a special gift pack I have created called ‘I Care. You Matter.’

It is a great way to show someone that they do matter in your life so why not give them a little inspiration around Christmas time and remind them how much they mean to you.

Listen to what the I Care. You Matter gift pack is all about, and what’s included below.

P.P.S. You CAN change the way you think.

You CAN change the way you think, and gradually and sustainably master a new way to be and live.

And that’s exactly why Dr Jeffrey M. Schwartz and I created a highly effective self paced on-line program based on his best selling book: You Are Not Your Brain webinar series. 

If you are grappling with navigating change, know that you are not alone. Many of us are right there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly, and get our lives well and truly on track. 

This is precisely why we built the You Are Not Your Brain online course which is filled with practical neuroscience and time-tested steps on how to support you to manage change more effectively and adaptively.

This is not an online ebook that you can read and forget about. It’s a revolutionary, self-paced online course and community with 8 video lessons, and many time-tested brain-based strategies and techniques that will teach you step by step, scientifically proven methods for changing bad habits, ending unhealthy thinking, and take back control of your life and happiness. These are the exact proven strategies and techniques I have used in my coaching practice to help thousands of people over the past two decades.

If you know anyone who could benefit from this blog post about Change, or the You Are Not Your Brain online program, please share and help‘spread the love’.

If you know anyone who could benefit from this  blog or the You Are Not Your Brain program, please share and help ‘spread the love’.

I’d like to hear your thoughts. Leave your comments below and let’s co-create a more balanced healthier and happier life.

Want to see how you stack on the Resilience Scale? Sign up and take my complimentary self assessment here.