The Power of Opposites in Our Growth

As I reflect on the lessons life offers, I’ve come to a powerful realization that I’d like to share with you all today: we attract the things we judge until we stop judging them.

It’s an interesting thought, isn’t it? When we judge something harshly—whether it’s a person, a situation, or even a feeling—we often end up seeing more of it. This is a reminder that the world we live in is less about the things we can touch or buy, and more about the thoughts, feelings, and lessons that shape our experience.

I’ve also been reminded that life isn’t just about experiencing what we want—it’s about learning through contrast. We learn best by experiencing the opposites of what we want to understand. For example, if we choose to learn about unconditional love, we will likely encounter many situations of conditional love—the kind that only feels “right” when certain conditions are met. At first, we may judge it or feel frustrated by it, but this is exactly how we come to understand what unconditional love truly is.

It’s the same with all the virtues we seek to understand—whether it’s patience, forgiveness, or even peace. To know what peace truly feels like, we may first have to encounter chaos. To know what pleasure is, we may experience pain. Through these experiences, we grow, expand, and come to understand the deeper meaning behind what we seek.

Just like the muscles in our bodies grow stronger when we challenge them in the gym, our hearts and minds grow stronger when we face life’s challenges. It’s not the challenges themselves that break us—it’s the way we respond to them that shapes our growth. When we understand this, we can face difficulties with gratitude, knowing that they are helping us grow into the person we are meant to become.

In this “spiritual life simulation,” as I like to think of it, we choose experiences that teach us the most. And sometimes, those lessons come through the contrast of opposites. The key is to approach them with an open heart, free from judgment, knowing that each experience is an opportunity to learn and evolve.

As we move through our day, let us remember: we are the students of life. And through every challenge, through every high and low, we are being guided to learn, to love, and to grow.

How are you learning, loving and growing? I love reading your feedback, so share your thoughts with me below.

I’ll leave you with a thought from Marcus Aurelius: “We have power over our minds, not outside events. Realise this and you will find strength.”

With gratitude and love,