Spicing up your life – the importance of knowing what you really REALLY want!
How can you possibly achieve what you truly desire if you’re not clear about what it is? Think you know, but when you’re asked it’s just not clear or concise? Is close enough really good enough?
Like playing darts, why aim for 20 points when you can score the bullseye?
Whether you’re a busy leader balancing competing priorities, or a parent juggling the many roles you serve, you can get lost in the busy-ness of everyday life and feel like you’ve achieved very little at the end of each day.
News scoop: busy-ness does not mean you’re being productive!
If you’re keen to gain charge of your life, and willing to do things a little differently to claim more happiness and balance in your life, read on.
Like you, I get caught up in the chaos and confusion life can dish up from time to time. Managing my own successful coaching practice, presenting keynotes and workshops around the globe, meeting with people daily who are committed to making a difference in the world, and lastly but certainly not least, doing my best each day to win the ‘single mum of the year’ award to my two teenagers, without any family support around me to lend a hand when the going gets tough – it’s a very fine line between pleasure and pain. I know what it’s like to feel so stretched that you don’t think you have any more to give. You collapse into bed at night thinking: ‘is this it?’
The good news is: you CAN make wiser decisions which will align your actions with your core values and create a life you truly desire.
Once you know what your values are i.e. what you stand for and what truly matters to you, you need to crystalise your vision for what you really REALLY want.
Success vs Happiness. Do you know the difference?
Most people know what they don’t want. That’s a start. But that won’t help you get what you really REALLY want.
Instead, what you are doing is aligning all your mental focus and resources on the very thing you don’t want…and guess what….you get it. Here are some examples:
- I don’t want to be nervous – focus: nervous
- I don’t want another heavy day – focus: heavy day
- I don’t want to be uncomfortable/overweight – focus: uncomfortable/overweight
- I don’t want to be pushed around – focus: pushed around
- I don’t want to feel stressed out – focus: stress
Get the drift? Want to know more? Watch this video which introduces the neuroscience of focus and attention:
We must align our focus and attention on what we WANT, rather than what we don’t want. Either way, you are going to attract more of what you give your focus to, so it may as well be good!
Let’s get into action:
First, let’s make a distinction between ‘what’ you want and ‘how’ you’re going to achieve it. (The ‘how’ piece can be more easily navigated by partnering with a great coach… hint, hint 😉 ).
What we are interested in in the first instance, is the first piece i.e. WHAT you want. You must give yourself permission to put aside all thoughts, limiting beliefs or concerns about the ‘how’ to bring it into being. So with an open mind and heart, list the outcomes you are seeking to achieve in your life – be it about work, health and fitness, relationships, special projects, or finances etc..
Next, review your diary and allocate some dedicated time each day/week to set in motion some regular actions which will take you one step closer to what you really want in your life.
If you hit a road block, or want some support in determining the best steps forward, let me help you with a tailored coaching session specifically designed to show you the practical steps and strategies to bring your goals into reality.
Setting milestone points and rewards for each milestone achieved is an important way of keeping your focus and motivation in momentum.
The important thing is this: take at least one positive action daily that will take you one step closer in the general direction of your goals. Be sure to track your progress, and acknowledge the journey you are taking responsibility to bring forth into your life.
Want to be happy? You must take responsibility for your happiness, and your unhappiness.
If you’d like some extra support in taking control, ending unhealthy thinking and changing bad habits for good, join Dr Jeffrey M Schwartz and myself for our online masterclass series based on his best selling book: You Are Not Your Brain, starting in April this year. Learn practical strategies that will put you back in the driver’s seat of your life!