What is the source of your happiness? What I’ve noted from countless coaching sessions with people from all walks of life is that we tend to assume that happiness will come from a future event. It typically depends upon something else happening. The script often sounds like this:
I’ll be happy when… I’ve found my soul mate.
I’ll be happy when… I get the promotion.
I’ll be happy when… I can buy my dream house.
I’ll be happy when… I’ve done that overseas trip I’ve wanted to do for years.
Still, the anticipated happiness is elusive so we tie it to more future events.
I’ll be happy when… I have children of my own.
I’ll be happy when… the children are older and move out of home.
I’ll be happy when… I retire.
What has happened here? Has an entire lifetime passed by pursuing an illusion?
Those events that we so dearly waited for do provide temporary excitement and satisfaction, but too soon they retreat into the ordinary and we replace them with the next ‘dream’ or fantasy of happiness.
Happiness can only occur in the moment that you’re in and can only be sustained by developing a nurturing relationship with yourself, and then with others. The ultimate source of happiness lies in the quality of your thoughts. Our thoughts are our most intimate relationship and will impact the quality and experience of our lives far more than our relationships with others. In fact, our relations with others are, to an extent, a reflection of the quality of our own thoughts and relationship with ourselves.
What we seek “out there” is only the icing on the cake. Genuine and sustainable happiness is derived from a healthy and nurturing relationship with yourself. Nothing and no one can take that away from you. Devote your focus and attention to your true and authentic well being and happiness will emerge.